To Go or Not to Go
Do I go to my ex’s grandfather’s funeral, or do I stay home? Is it disrespectful to not show, or is it inappropriate to go? The ex will be taking our son. Do I quietly attend the service and sit in the back and avoid mingling? Is it a decent gesture to acknowledge the family by attending? Aye yay yay. You know, from my ex’s standpoint I am “the bitch that divorced him and cost him a lot of money as a result.” They, the family, doesn’t really know what happened during the marriage. They didn’t hear my testimony in court. They will never know the truth, and the ex is certainly never going to tell them. He won’t even admit to himself. Frustrating. I was very close to his family. The entire family. I cherished his father, and I am saddened that it is his father’s father who has now passed away.
Maybe, though, I should refrain. I don’t know. I can only hear the faint whisper in my head from long ago, of my ex-father-in-law that to know that I was thinking of him and his family he would be thankful. But that was then. This is now. They are no longer my family, and I am no longer a member of their family.
Yikes! What’s the answer?
“Funeral Etiquette: Should You Go To Your Ex In-law’s Funeral?”
First, I am very sorry for your loss. And it is *your* loss, also.
Second, and this is my first impression, I don’t think I’d go out of respect for the grandfather. This may sound strange, but if there’s any possibility of bad words with your ex, you don’t want to bring that drama into the situation.
It’s not fair to you, at all, to not be able to honor this man’s life in the traditional way, but know that in your heart, you do honor him. And talk with your son about him, the good memories. Help him to understand, if you can, and to remember.
You’ll be in my thoughts today – take care.
Thanks…. you helped me make up my mind.
I’m glad I could help. Please take care.
Don’t go. It will only make their day worse. They don’t want to see you. Please don’t take offense to this, it’s just how divorces (bad ones) are.
yes. i am so glad that it makes sense not to go… particularly since f-head can’t keep his cool together. ever.